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August 9th, 2007 by admin
Dear well-wishers of FOCUS,
We are embarking on a project that we hope will enrich our ministry.
Please download the brochure in word document format and read about it.
Entry Filed under: Announcements, Uncategorized
6 Comments Add your own
1. Suresh de Mel | August 9th, 2007 at 3:44 pm
The brochure mentions that “the last 30 years of free-market style economy has led to a great deterioration in the moral and social climate in the country”. This is claiming a cause-effect relationship which may or may not be true/valid. It also implies that if we did not have free market economy policies the moral and social climate would have been much better. Can we really say this? What justification do we have to say this? It is unsubstantiated opinion – and should be dropped out.
We maybe able to get away with saying “the last thirty years has witnessed a deterioration in the moral and social climate in the country”. But then again we would have to ask the sociologists among us whether this is so or not.
2. Suhithi Peiris | August 14th, 2007 at 6:32 pm
1) I agree with Suresh’s comment above. That statement has to be edited. Otherwise those earning well from the same ‘free market style’ economy may feel annoyed enough not to contribute. Or are we just seeking Russian Rubles?
2) The sentence starting with “In addition, natural disasters of varied sorts….” can include “such as the recent South Asian Tsunami” in it. Surely, garnering excess sympathy cannot come a miss?
3) In one place kilometers is “Km” and in another “km”. I think the later is correct.
4) The short paragraph starting “The fellowship teaches students….” can be in a bold font to highlight the main primary activity.
5) The sentence starting with “God has also raised up through FOCUS…” may imply something different to what is intended. I assume that the intention is to say that many have grown from being students to now being influential professionals. But the words “God has raised up” sound too much like “resurrection” or like some other ritualistic process by which these were inducted in.
6) The last sentence on Page 3, “major preoccupation” – the whole rest of the brochure is very formal, but those two words. That sentence could be edited to read “All this flows from in-depth study and application of the whole bible to every aspect of life, which is the primary occupation of FOCUS members.”
3. dileni gunewardena | August 21st, 2007 at 1:06 pm
While agreeing with Suresh’s and Suhithi’s comments, may I suggest the fonts on 2, 3 and 8 be modified to be more like pages 4, 5, 6 and 7, so that it is visually easier to read, with higher space to letter proportions.
Presumably once this is finalised, it will be pdf-ed so we can use it to raise funds?
4. evan | October 22nd, 2007 at 12:24 pm
Hey Suresh, Suhithi Dileni.. thanks Guys for your comments and edits, most of which have been incorporated. Yesterday a group of 15 volunteers met at the FOCUS office to write personal notes to as many of the 200 members as we knew and post them copies of the brochure..even though you are nto close by we appreciate the time and the love you spent to add to this brochure.
In him
evan
5. anushke | December 2nd, 2007 at 11:25 am
Hello everyone,
as you know we have now gone ahead with the project, check out this link for details
on the place…
cheers
6. anushke | December 26th, 2007 at 10:46 pm
A new subsite has been created with in-depth details of the building project.
you can view this at.
http://building.focus.lk
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